Insurance, Grief, and Anger

I try to keep up with my responsibilities as the one in charge of husband's accounts etc.  I did get paperwork filed...that I am able to do without acknowledging his death.  However when I try to fill out the paperwork (life insurance,  transfer bank accounts, retirement accounts, etc.) I start feeling weightless and confused.  Questions such as:  Date of death, Cause of death, suddenly bring me face to face with reality as I picture how he died.  I received a booklet on grief from our insurance company.  I have been exposed to a lot of books on grief, but they usually only list the stages of grief.  This one lists some of the common expressions of grief, that can appear simultaneously, such as:

• Shock body's protection from grief.  May lack emotion and doubt the death is real.  Even though you may accept loved one's death intellectually, you have not begun to accept it emotionally.
• Loneliness and sorrow often begin after the memorial service, especially if you are responsible for managing loved one's affairs.  May experience symptoms such as loss of appetite (check), insomnia, or headaches (check).  
• Confusion difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness and indecision.
• Guilt is most common when death ends an unhappy or stressful relationship (check).  You may regret past words or actions.
• Anger is a normal method of diverting pain and usually indicates an emotional release needed to adjust to your loss.  May feel angry with friends or family who do not seem to understand your grief; or even your deceased loved one for leaving you behind (CHECK!!!!!)

I appreciated this free booklet.  I will try again tomorrow to work on the paperwork.  I am expecting the death certificates any day now.  I also need to call the police department and request the accident reports on his death.  Unbelievable the proof that the life insurance needs before they will pay out the benefits.