Snippet from the past

Past Journal Entry

Saturday night, July 25, 2007 

I went to the mall with a friend tonight.  I came home at 9.  Xxxxxxx was drunk.  He kept lying and saying he had had nothing to drink.   I went to the big trash bins outside.  Even though there were bugs, I opened trashbags and I searched for bottles.  I went through our storage shed. Found none.  He came outside, and he said, “Stop trying to make me feel guilty for something that I didn’t do.”  He told me to smell his breath. I could only smell mouthwash so I thought I was crazy because he acted drunk...slurring, swaying, etc.  I couldn’t figure it out.  I searched the house, and found a nearly empty bottle of vodka in a duffle bag in the closet.  I calmly confronted him He basically blew me off.  I am scared to death.  Stuffing it deep inside.

(Sunday) Xxxxxxx acted today like nothing had happened. I hurt so bad.  Cried so much this morning at church.  Pain and tears come and go in waves.  Don’t know if its “me” or if its “real pain”.   He lied to me.  He LIED to me, to my face, OVER AND OVER AND OVER, just like in the past.  I’m scared and alone.  No one will believe me.